Harriette Cole: How can I get him to stop smoking around the kids?

DEAR HARRIETTE My dad is a heavy smoker and has been for as long as I can remember Related Articles Harriette Cole I crossed a line with my girlfriend How do I get her back Harriette Cole Is this how an entry-level job is supposed to feel Harriette Cole Is this a bad reason to homeschool my daughter Harriette Cole My sister won t call me back and I have no idea what s wrong Harriette Cole How do I confront my husband about what I uncovered in the laundry When I was growing up he used to smoke inside the house constantly I remember the smell being everywhere in my clothes in the walls even in my toys I developed a few soundness issues that I believe were tied to all that secondhand smoke exposure and it s something I ve carried with me into adulthood I have two young children ages and and I m protective of their robustness I ve made it clear to my dad that I don t want him smoking around my kids He doesn t smoke inside the house when he visits but whenever we re outside together like in the backyard at a park or just walking around he lights up without thinking twice I ve reminded him multiple times but he either brushes it off or says things like We re outside it s fine or One puff isn t going to hurt them It s beyond frustrating How can I get through to him in a way that doesn t feel like an attack but still makes it clear that this is non-negotiable for me Stop Smoking DEAR STOP SMOKING Now is the time to be direct and firm Tell your father that if he continues to smoke around your children he is no longer welcome to come over Show him information regarding the negative impact of secondhand smoke on others and tell him that as much as you love him you are unwilling to subject your children to what you had to endure your whole life You are not overreacting the negative impacts of secondhand smoke are critical Think coronary heart illness stroke lung cancer and adverse reproductive wellness effects in women as well as sudden infant death syndrome respiratory infections ear infections and asthma attacks in children For more information visit cdc gov tobacco secondhand-smoke physical condition html DEAR HARRIETTE A close friend of mine will be celebrating a milestone birthday in about two months We ve been friends for nearly years and she has invariably made it her duty to be there for me especially for special occasions We haven t lived in the same city for eight years so it means the world to me that she s inevitably supporting me For her birthday this year she s taking a trip to the Caribbean I won t be able to join due to financial constraints but I still want to celebrate her Do you have any unique and affordable suggestions for making a loved one feel special when you can t be present with them Long-Distance Birthday Related Articles Dear Abby My boss s personal tasks should not be my predicament Asking Eric My crush on the supermarket guy has upended my life Harriette Cole I crossed a line with my girlfriend How do I get her back Miss Manners These women wore white gowns to my wedding and people were talking Dear Abby She won t cut ties with her ex because she loves his dog DEAR LONG-DISTANCE BIRTHDAY Make her a birthday video telling her highlights of your friendship and how much you appreciate her If you know her other friends invite them to submit birthday messages and create a compilation that you share with her Coordinate with someone who is going on the trip to have it played for her during one of the celebratory moments If you know where s she s staying you could call ahead and have the front desk deliver a bottle of champagne or bouquet of flowers that she can enjoy on the trip Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO