Dear Abby: Dogs get first dibs on BF’s bed

Dear Abby I am in the last few days divorced after a -year marriage My boyfriend Grant has been divorced for a long time He is a lovely man honest intelligent healthy helpful neat and a great communicator Our physical relationship is wonderful too My predicament Grant has two small dogs that sleep in bed with him They have since they were puppies They are and years old now I have a large dog that sleeps in his bed on the floor and is not allowed on any furniture He doesn t shed The dogs all get along fine I slept in Grant s bed once when his dogs were at the kennel and was grossed out by the dog hair on the sheets comforter etc even after the sheets had been washed Having dogs in the bed would disrupt my sleep so if I spend the night I sleep in Grant s guest room He doesn t think it s fair to disrupt his kids' sleeping arrangements after all these years I d much rather fall asleep and wake up next to him but this happens only on vacations away from home I m tired of sleeping apart but don t feel like giving any ultimatums Is he right to not want to disrupt the dogs sleeping habits to accommodate me once or twice a week Sleeping Solo in Oregon Dear Sleeping Solo I think your boyfriend is right Because Grant has habituated his dogs to sleeping in his bed not to mention that the bed is filthy I don t think it would be practical to disrupt them at this stage of their lives On the nights you re at his place it might make more sense for Grant to spend the night in the guest room with you until his sleeping buddies cross the rainbow bridge Dear Abby A inadequate years ago I became acquainted with a Catholic priest after he hired me to give him conversation lessons He was visiting from another country English is not his first language We hit it off and detected we had a lot in common After the lessons ended we stayed in touch Not long after that he returned to his home country Since then we have emailed and texted regularly and video-chatted over the holidays I love my friendship with him and he seems to feel the same way To be honest though I have a bit of a crush on him I was hoping it would fade but it hasn t I feel somewhat guilty about it and wonder if I am being dishonest by not telling him Should I say something and danger having the friendship which I really enjoy end Or is it OK to keep these kinds of secrets Crushing on the Coast Dear Crushing As long as your bit of a crush doesn t have a negative impact on the rest of your life I see no reason to burden the priest with this secret However if it causes a disruption in the relationships you have i e with a husband or boyfriend then speak up and be prepared for the relationship to slow down if not end Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA