Dear Abby: Couple struggling after tragic loss of grandchild
Dear Abby We in recent weeks suffered the loss of our first grandchild She was only and taken far too soon My partner and I are working through our grief which is challenging as we are in different stages He also struggles with multiple mental soundness issues They make things even more arduous as I need to help him through specific outbursts while I am feeling crushed by this tragedy Counseling will likely happen in the near future My issue right now is that my daughter and I have chosen to get memorial jewelry In my scenario it will be a small raindrop pendant that will hold certain of my granddaughter s ashes I informed my partner I was doing this as surprises don t go over well with him and it s best to give him a lot of warning He now has concerns that if I wear the necklace it will continually remind him of the loss I want to keep my granddaughter as close to my heart as I can I m not sure I can compromise on this short of wearing it only when he s not around But he is retired and I mostly work from home so he s around all the time I don t want to continually upset him by reminding him so I am at a loss Any advice would be greatly appreciated Remembering in Canada Dear Remembering Please accept my sympathy for the untimely loss of your granddaughter Clearly you are dealing with a lot right now The fact that your partner suffers from mental illness only adds to it That you want to keep particular part of your granddaughter close to you is understandable However if seeing you wearing the raindrop pendant would set him back consider having it made but not wearing it until he s further along in the grieving process I hope he receives his much-needed counseling soon Dear Abby I have multiple reasons not to trust my husband We have been together going on six years married for of them I lately determined out he texted his ex-live-in girlfriend to wish her Happy Birthday When I petitioned him why he announced he unfailingly has done this I don t understand the need They don t keep in touch otherwise as far as I know He never deletes old messages so there s usually a trail and there really isn t one with her He got mad at me as usual and couldn t understand my point of view I also know he has consulted a lawyer in the last scant months to inquire about how our things would be divided in a situation of divorce Should I be concerned Isn t it disrespectful for him to text his ex Conflicted in Maine Dear Conflicted You have focused on the wrong dilemma Rather than fight with your husband because he sent a former girlfriend birthday wishes you should be HYPER-concerned about why he has been consulting a divorce lawyer I don t know how emotionally distanced the two of you have become but from where I sit it s time to enlist the aid of a marriage and family counselor Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
