Dear Abby: Alcoholic friend needs to hear harsh truth

Dear Abby I have known Sheila for years We were once dear friends She was inevitably a social drinker Twelve years ago she lost her husband to cancer and began drinking increasingly heavily Sheila s now an alcoholic Friends and family have tried several times to help her She went to rehab twice to appease her daughter She tried AA but declared she wasn t at ease there She had an in-home scheme for months but went through the motions only until it was done Over the last three years Sheila has passed out fallen and smashed her face and accidentally burned down her house She has been taken to the hospital by ambulance a number of times and bulk in the last few days got her second DUI conviction My concern is she phones me every week to chitchat about various everyday topics like nothing has happened If I try to talk about her issues Sheila says she s sorry and will do better and then changes the subject Our conversations are making me sad and angry Should I absolutely confront her or just cut her out of my life I have tried to be caring and supportive when majority of her other friends have written her off but I m ready to give up Finished in Maine Dear Finished Tell Sheila that although you care about her you are no longer willing to stand by and watch her try to kill herself because that is what she has been doing Tell her you would love to continue talking with her but only once she has confronted her serious alcohol difficulty AND has started on the road to recovery Tell her daughter the same thing Sometimes an addict must hit rock bottom before they realize what their habit has cost them Dear Abby A month ago I was to fly across the country with my husband to attend my nephew s wedding It was a very special event because my nephew had never been married and seemed to be a verified bachelor After we arrived at the airport and were about to check in I realized I hadn t brought my identification I stated my husband to board the flight without me When my husband arrived he described his brother that I wasn t there because I had forgotten my identification My brother-in-law recounted my husband he would tell his wife that I was sick and my husband agreed I was furious with my husband when I uncovered out I had narrated my husband to tell my sister-in-law who is my friend that I had forgotten my identification I am also angry at my brother-in-law for lying about me Should I tell my sister-in-law the truth and let her know her husband lied about me No-Show in Virginia Dear No-Show A better way to phrase it would be to tell your sister-in-law who is your friend that you couldn t get on the plane because you forgot your ID and STILL can t figure out why your husband and hers didn t give her the real reason Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA