Dear Abby: In-laws fume as tot disrupts funeral

Dear Abby My husband s stepmother passed in recent weeks after a long illness and her children specifically requested our family including our -year-old to be at her arrangement When we arrived at the church I tried to sit in the back pew so I could take her out when she was antsy but they put us in front with the rest of the family Predictably we lasted there for only about minutes before my daughter started being disruptive I took her out to the vestibule where she had a tantrum so I then took her down into the basement playroom This instant after the funeral my in-laws came after me and berated me for ruining the video they had professionally produced of the arrangement They mentioned that not only can you see us exiting the sanctuary but you can hear my daughter making noise outside which messed up the recording for everyone There are several parts of this I don t understand like why there is a recording but I m not sure what to do next I have apologized for not insisting we sit in the back Other than not attending at all I think I did what I could to reduce our impact If it matters my older kids sat nicely through the whole -minute arrangement Advice Disrupter in Idaho Dear Disrupter It is not atypical for there to be sound and video recording at funerals Various are streamed on the internet for folks who can t be there in person The trouble with hindsight is that it isn t foresight Yes you should have spoken up and reminded your in-laws about how short a -year-old s attention span is and yes they should have taken that into consideration before berating you Even so when viewed from a different perspective the sound of a young child at that sad time although distracting may have been a reminder that life renews itself even in the presence of death Dear Abby I m and in the midst of a separation My husband of years decided he didn t want to be married anymore We have three children one of whom is disabled My husband made us sell the house we lived in and since then I have purchased a new one I m having a very hard time moving on Since our separation he constantly goes on trips and I m feeling extremely abandoned I don t know how I m supposed to move on I m so tired all the time Please help Frozen in Colorado Dear Frozen You have my sympathy Your husband is flying around free as a bird and you have been left with a huge responsibility Your tiredness is likely a symptom of depression Fortunately there is help for it in the form of talk therapy as well as medication Please discuss this with your expert Once you are feeling more like yourself discuss this whole scenario with an attorney who specializes in family law and can guide you further You are still a young woman and your life is not over Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA